To Detach with Love

detachwithloveI used to have a problem with the term “to detach” because I felt like it was saying I had to lose something or give up on someone. When I first heard the expression “to detach” I was in a coaching session, my coach suggested that I should learn to detach from my feelings about my family. I could not grasp the thought of that because I associated the word detach with meaning to stop loving. Maybe if she had said “to detach with love” I would have had an easier time understanding and learning to embrace this thought.

Now maybe nobody else in the world would have this problem, maybe it was just me, but on the off-chance that someone else hears the word detach and thinks it is a rather heartless term, I wanted to share this.  Share my thoughts today on the term “to detach”.

So in the past I felt the term “to detach” was heartless and cold, I felt like the only people who could do this were people who are able to turn off their love for others.  That is because I didn’t get “it.”  What is “it?”  To know the truth- to detach is to love someone so much you can detach from the outcome, detach from the need to be loved back, and to detach from the worry and expectation that comes with love.   I learned, after much growth, that to detach with love simply means to love so unconditionally that you are not bothered by outcomes or expectations.

I hope that makes sense. I do want to keep this short enough that you will read it; yet get all the info in there!  Any questions or opinions please feel free to chime in below! I do not care if you disagree with my view!! It is all good! We can share what we think with each other. I love to hear other people’s thoughts! And am open-minded enough that I grow from hearing what others think; even if I still disagree!

I will leave you with this, my favorite scripture, which helped me get to a place of letting go of expectation and worry.

Phil 4:6 ” Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

It’s got it all! No worries, and gratitude! I love this verse!




There Once Was a Grandpa

donkey photo: donkey zack.jpg

There once was a grandpa who took his grandson to town. He started off by letting his grandson ride atop his donkey. As they walked to town some people passed by and said “how terrible of that boy to ride and let the old man walk!” The grandpa heard this and took the boy off the donkey and he rode the donkey while the boy walked. A few minutes later some people passed by and said ” how terrible of that old man to make that boy walk while he rides the donkey!”  The grandpa heard this and pulled the boy up on the donkey with him and they both rode to town together on the donkey.  A few minutes later a couple passed by and said ” how cruel to make that donkey carry the weight of you both!”  By the time the grandpa and grandson reached town they were carrying the donkey!

Moral of the story ~ You can’t please everyone all the time! Don’t try! Live your own life, run your own race. If you spend all of your time trying to please others you will miss the glory that is life!  And in the end…they will not be happy and you will not be happy! So be happy!  And let others be responsible for their own happiness!


What kind of day are you choosing to have?

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” ~ Philippians 4:6

It is a beautiful day here in Central Indiana! The sun has risen high in the cold, cold, Midwest sky! It is currently 10 * with a high of 16* expected! My toes and fingers are numb from more days (recently) of sub-zero temps than anything else! I can’t deny it is cold! I love the cold! But even I have to admit this is getting to be a little hard to take! Although it is bone achingly frigid… is also beautiful! The snow fell pretty good 2 days ago, we are now at around 51-55″ of snow fall in the last month, I think we may have received a couple of those inches in Dec, but most in the last month. 2014 is, so far, a very unusual year for us Mid-westerners!

So having said all this……I guess I could be having a so-so day. Especially when you add in the fact that I am at work today and so far I have had ZERO calls! I’m a Realtor and when I do “floor” I need buyers and sellers to call me….or walk in! And so far…nada! Hate when that happens. But so far this year I have had zero calls when I’m on floor.  So, I guess I could be kind of down, but what would be the point of that? I always remind myself that it is up to me how I react to every situation! That in itself makes me pretty happy! What better gift to give yourself than the freedom to choose?

Yes, I know at times it can be a very hard thing to do, especially when things are not going our way, or even worse; when those we love are hurt in some way. Yes at those times it can be hard to choose for happiness or gratefulness; but choose it we can and we should. It is better to look for the happy joyful things in life, than to wallow in the sadness that can be our life if we let it.

Is it always easy? No…but it is always a choice that is available to us, that we can make. And for that I am grateful and I am happy.  I know it has been said, by me as well as many others, many times before …..but this reminder is something I need to write occasionally; so that I do not forget.

And maybe….just maybe…. you need to read it every once in a while too!