Our words have power! Everything is made up of energy…. Everything tangible and intangible …. Even our words. So as you speak your words there is an energy leaving your body; going out there into the world. That energy is bathing the person you are speaking to and filling the space where you are standing . Good, bad, it’s all adding to the current energy you or another is feeling.
You can recharge someone with your words or drain their battery (and yours) by adding negative energy ……which ultimately saps their (your) positive energy.
This is why it’s important to not only watch what you say but; surround yourself with positive people who recharge your batteries!

Want Change? Have You Started With YOU?


I am not, as the title suggests, saying all problems come from within us, but I am saying it is our choice to wallow or rise, be a victim or a victor!  That is truth!

I see a lot of people complaining about their lives, blaming others for their situations, and it occurs to me that they are wallowing in self-pity. They would probably get upset with me for saying that, because to them posting things/saying things about how someone has done them wrong and how they will never allow this to happen again is just them letting the world know they had a scoundrel in their life and he/she is now gone. To them that validates them, makes them appear the innocent but to me……well that is just them being stuck in their story. They need to tell a different story and get away from blaming others and move into healing themselves.

Part of the healing will begin when they are able to look themselves in the eyes and admit their part in the mess and decide a few things-

1. They love themselves unconditionally

2.  They are worthy/deserve more

3. They do not need anyone else to validate who they are or if they are worthy of love

4. They will tell a different story and take responsibility, moving forward, for being the person they want and deserve to be.

Throwing in a huge dose of gratitude will create miracles too!  Bottom line here is that it is our choice to be happy or sad at any given time. At times it is appropriate to feel anger, sadness, and other such emotions. What is important is that we stay tuned into ourselves enough (or have a support team who will help us and listen to them)to know when it is time to move out of the anger, sadness, etc…. and into a higher, more positive productive place.

I want to finish here with a really honest statement……. I hate to say anything that can make others feel bad, but It is not intended to make anyone feel bad, it’s intended to motivate, educate, enlighten.

If you are always saying things like ” he treated me so badly”  “my friends are never loyal” “true friends are ______”  “men always cheat” …etc….   self-defeating/negative statements! The statements that say life sucks and I hate everyone! And apparently everyone hates me!  Then I want to suggest this is about you and not them.  It is time to stop talking about the things others have done to you or how badly you’ve been treated. Or how good you should have been treated…… it is time to shut up and take action!

Great change begins with YOU. Stop telling this negative story of your life and those people in it. Start looking at you and seeing who you really are, make sure your actions line up with your words, -and if not- be big enough (and love yourself enough) to admit it! And know that real change will not happen until you have this alignment of words and action. Just do it!

Once you start getting real and following through amazing things will begin to happen! Once you become the change you want to see then, and only then, will the people in your life reflect who you are and how you want to be treated!  Like attracts like….

Be the change.

On A Personal Note

I have decided I’m not being real enough for some of you. So I am going to try to infuse a little more me into my writing. Get a little more real for you all!  
Why do I write about these things? How do I know it works? These things I write about?

Well as recent as a few years ago I was still saying these types of self-defeating and totally useless comments when things would go wrong in my life!  I had a falling out with a friend, I didn’t understand it at all, she gave no reason for it, heck she didn’t even say goodbye! That was my wake up call, to see I was still doing the things I was writing about.  Seriously she did me a huge favor. By giving me this experience she allowed me to see I was still blaming others for whatever happened negatively in my life. It took me about a year to realize how this was affecting me and to learn from it.  Some of you may remember how I wrote about it and how negative and unproductive my writing was. But I guess I didn’t get the full lesson because a year later something happened again! It was huge! A serious betrayal and while I handled it better, I came to see I still didn’t get it! Not 100%  so I continued to grow,

Today I can tell these people “thank you” for the experiences you gave to me, I can see why I needed this. That is not saying I agree with what you did or I think you could not have handled it better or could have loved me better……. I forgive because it is good for me and seeing the lesson in the experience allows me to grow and forgive!

Bottom line is I am a real person who has gone through more than I have ever talked about….and while I do not see the point in hanging on to these old storied, I do realize it is important for me to share these parts of me with you so that you can see I am real and what I write about comes from experience. And years (8 years) of study and research into the subjects I write on!  🙂

Sympathy, Empathy, Encouragement!

encourage6When you see someone who you know has gone through some stuff it is natural to want to comfort them.  We want them to know they are not alone and we are there if they need us.   A lot of times someone will approach you and say something like ” Wow! You look terrible! I know this ______ is taking its toll on you.” or “Man, you look so tired! I know you are just worn out from all this _________.”  I know people mean well and say this in a way to comfort you, to commiserate with your plight.  I get that.


What if you had just taken the time to refresh yourself and you’re feeling particularly upbeat and good?  Because they do not know what is happening with you, I mean they do know that you’re going through stuff; which is why they want to say the aforementioned “wow!…….”  but they do not know what has happened to you in the last few moments. Their good intentions could have just taken the wind right out of your sails!

The point I am trying to get to is this:

While sympathy makes sense I think from here on out I am going to make an effort to encourage and not sympathize. I just think it makes more sense. I think it’s a win/win if I encourage them with my words. Win/win? Yes! I always feel better when I build people up and I know they usually do too!

If I approach those who I know are going through some stuff with an attitude of building them up, maybe turning around my comments to be more like ” Wow! You look great! I would never know you are going through___________.” (fill in the blank with whatever the issue is.)  I mean obviously common sense needs to prevail here-  I may not say something like this to someone going through certain things, like a death or something. Sometimes, even in those tragic times, some people may be helped more from an encouraging comment (about how well they are doing) than being told how tired they look. But common sense needed! Bottom line if I know someone being put through the ringer at work or with family, etc…. I think from now on I will tell them how fantastic they look, how brilliantly they handle the stress!

It’s just me but I think it will work.

****Yes, I know there are some people out there who need to be told how terrible or worn-out they look! Hearing these types of negative comments fuels their need for attention which makes them feel better. I get it!  I guess you can’t win every time!