That is NOT what I said!

calm

I guess I am intended to write about this today. Why? Because a friend on Facebook posted a status about this subject and then I had a personal moment where I went through the same thing. So I guess YOU have spoke! I do pray daily that you will lead me to a topic each day and that I will recognize it when it appears!

People will hear what they want to hear. It does not matter what you say- they will hear it the way their brain hears it. That is not to say they will always get it wrong! No! They may get the essence right but it will be repeated in their words. The words their brain has interpreted from your conversation and then stored to, unfortunately all too often, be repeated to others. And then sometimes, way too often, they do not get the essence at all. They aren’t even in the same ballpark! It happens.
Sometimes it is a small thing, like hearing a name wrong or a simple word heard wrong…. Yet other times it is a big deal… Such a big deal It can cause real harm to relationships. It can be the fodder for the rumor mill. That’s when it needs to be addressed and the person doing this needs to accept responsibility for it. That person must be able to let go and realize the person they are speaking of ( you) may indeed be being misrepresented…..by them!

I feel if we all would accept the fact that it is human nature to hear things the way we hear them and not necessarily the way it was truly said; and this is not necessarily done with malintent…. Then we would all be better off.
Once again we get down to accountability and perception ! We have to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions. And realizing our perception of things and that we can skew what we hear, and how we interpret things, will be the first step towards change.
I’m not saying we are all bad people. I am saying it is pretty common to hear things wrong, to get the emotion behind the comment wrong……it happens. Now we need to accept it and move on. If we can accept it we can change it. Right?

Excuses,excuses!

excusesPart of being grown up and enlightened is resisting (overcoming) the desire to lay blame. Sure we can always find a way to reason that our actions were not as mean as they  were perceived to be, or we had good reason to be the way we were, or that person gave me no choice!  We can reason away everything we have ever done! Go ahead….I know you can do it!

But I have a question; after all the excuses good reasons….. what really matters? The way we treat someone is on us, not on them. In the end it is not about what someone did to deserve the crap we handed them…..it is more about how we treat people in the good and the bad times!  How we treat others even when we feel they do not deserve good treatment….this is who we are! This is what matters! Do you have a habit of turning away from people when they need you, ending relationships with no reason or without talking to the other person (abandoning people), flying off the handle when there is conflict, or being very blunt for a persons own good? I can go on and on with all the ways we can make others feel worthless, treating people with the disrespect we would never want to be treated with!  But I imagine you get my point.

When we make excuses for our behavior we are not helping anyone, especially not ourselves. Until we can be honest with ourselves ( as honest as we love to be with others) about how we treat people and how we would not like this same treatment…until we can honestly stop blaming others and start treating people the way we want to be treated…in good times and bad times….  there is a good possibility we will not be living our authentic best life!

We can all say…..“well it was for her own good!”  or ” I needed to be away from the drama!” or any of the many other things we say that we seem to believe erases our bad behavior!  But it is all an illusion! Our behavior is who we are. And remember we have a choice on how we handle things!  I am in no way saying we need to put up with things that are not in our best interest…. I’m simply saying the way we handle the situation and our possible departure from a relationship is what matters!  And it is on YOU! In the end…that is what matters, you have to live with you and one day, if not today, this will come up. These things have a way of rearing their ugly little heads.

Good, bad, and ugly! It is all YOU! Stop making excuses and just be someone you can be proud of! No more excuses.  If you hurt someone don’t tell them it was not meant the way they took it…..say you’re sorry! And when you say you’re sorry for heaven’s sake don’t follow it up with some lame comment that starts with “but”………

 

Children Grow Up….

YES! We want our children to grow up and become their own person! We want them to be strong and independent! It is so satisfying to know that your child has grown into an independent and strong man or woman!

Having said that……it can be hard at times to accept that your child is all grown up!! And when the  days, weeks, and sometimes months pass by without him needing you……. well I guess it is nice to know they do not need us as they once did, that they are all grown up and strong!!  But it is also sad at times!

It is a sad day when you would give anything for him/her to walk through the door with some dirty laundry!  OR when your big thrill of the day ( or even week) is when your son calls to ask you how to cook chili!!

Being a grown up responsible  parent can certainly hurt sometimes!

Peace and MUCH love~ Christine