Your Reaction Matters….

Defeats are part of our human experience

Whether we want to admit it or not. It is just a part of life. They may be small or big, but they are usually present at times. And they seem to pop up mostly when we are really on to something big. They can be looked at as of they are tests, how bad do we really want this? Whether test or just life; it is how we respond/react to these times in our lives that matters.


React or Respond?

Are you a reactor, or a responder? It matters. I can remember when I most definitely was a reactor! And it showed all over my face and in my body language. It was very difficult for me to hide my feelings in the midst of situations. And truth is, while I am mostly a responder these days, there are times I still have a hard time controlling my body language. I am working on that!
If we learn to be a responder our life is easier, even when we are showing, by our face, that we would love to react in a negative way to the situation, the fact that we don’t makes the situation better, for us and for the other people involved. Learning this self-control is huge! It is a great change in your life and will affect you for sure but it will affect those around you too! And it helps to get us through the defeats in our life if we learn this lesson now!


Start now, and know there will be slips!

Where to start to make t his change?

All you can do is start now. Dive in! If you want it you will have it! If you truly believe being a responder is the better way to live your life, then just jump in. I know if you want it bad enough you will make it happen. Yes there will be times, especially  in the beginning, when you will fail, that is okay! Remember defeats yes but not defeated!  All we can do is do our best. And knowing that we will always have another chance to get it right is motivation enough to keep trying!  So this is what you do…… starting now when you feel yourself reacting in a negative or judgmental way to a situation, and you don’t want to, then stop and take a breath, take a step away. Yes it really is that simple. Here is the thing- you will have a lot of times, more often than not, in the beginning, when you remember after the fact to be a responder and not a reactor. That is okay! It is growth!

You are going to have many times, even after you learn to take a breath and not react, when you will have to remind your face what the plan is!! But that is okay! Keep at it!


You are taking on a very noble cause!

Making this change in your life will indeed help your life to be easier. But the affect it will have on others is probably so profound that I think you are a hero for doing this! Taking on the challenge to make this change in your life, something that will have an impact on the lives of others……you are amazing! Considerate! I love that you care enough to want to do this.


Don’t give up!

Just keep moving forward and one day you will be on the other side, seeing the fruits of your labors! Good for you! And remember…..tomorrow is another day full of opportunities to do better! To become a responder not a reactor and to make sure your defeats

never defeat you!

I Have to be ME!

imperfectImperfect me! Loving and forgiving…. yet still me. Me being the person that is capable of love, gratitude, forgiveness AND at times susceptible to the world! Meaning I have an opinion and sometimes my opinion may not align with others. I have noticed lately that I have tried to censor myself to “fall in line” with the person I portray myself as through my writing.  I guess this is a normal thing to do, I am sure we all do this at times- lose ourselves in this world. For me I am holding myself to a level that pretty much guarantees I will fail from time to time.  I have realized I need to stop this. I need to embrace all of me, even the parts of me that have opinions on things that are not necessarily of a positive nature! While continuing to strive for a better moment, a better day, a better life!

I am always talking about being authentic and embracing who we are. Well I need to take my advice about this. I need to be OK with saying to others that at times, even though I am grateful and I do advocate a positive attitude, I still can have an opinion on the things of this world that are not necessarily surrounded by a positive vibe. We can’t exactly want to change things, say of a political nature, without talking about the politics. I have to be OK with that. I need to not be afraid of offending others; as long as I am offering my opinion in an open-minded and non judgmental way. I realize we all have opinions and we should be able to share those opinions to grow.

So while I advocate living a grateful life and a positive one, I do not live in a utopian world where bad things never happen. I realize the reality of life – to make an omelet some eggs will be broken!  It is what it is.

What I need is more confidence in the knowledge that I can live a gratitude-filled life without having to act as if I live in a Utopia; like there is no work that needs to be done.  There is work to be done and I am grateful for all the experiences I have as I do my work.

I can advocate love, gratitude, forgiveness and still speak up when I feel someone is being wronged; even if the situation surrounding that wronging is one of a negative nature. Such as our current political climate! It is hard to weigh in on a subject when the subject is just so negative in nature!

Of course this all comes with the caveat that I am not coming from a place of fear, anger, or hatred, and that is where the real work is! I need to come from a place of love. And in order to do this I must respond and not react. That is something I work on everyday.  I believe to be true to who I am, to live a truly authentic life, I need to master this way of living!

But this is me, not you. We all must walk our own path. But please do not mistake an opinion on a negative situation as a loss of my humanity.  ❤

Reaction? Response? Which Are You?

ReAcT -VS- ReSPoNd

It can’t be flowers and sunshine every moment….yeah shocker! I know reality is that there are bad things in life all around us, and on occasion, it is important to weigh in.
In only recent years I have learned to sit back and watch, try to temper my responses towards situations; it is a good thing.
I want to be able to stand by my thoughts and I want those thoughts to be offered in love. In order to make this happen I must take time to consider situations, I have to respond to these things….not react. I’ve spent a lifetime “reacting” and all that has gotten me is drama! And quite frankly often times it causes me to have to apologize over and over for being so wrong! LOL That is what happens when you react and don’t respond. Thoughtful responses are better than quick knee-jerk reactions! xxxx

So what am I saying?  “I am thinking….” xx