Part of being grown up and enlightened is resisting (overcoming) the desire to lay blame. Sure we can always find a way to reason that our actions were not as mean as they were perceived to be, or we had good reason to be the way we were, or that person gave me no choice! We can reason away everything we have ever done! Go ahead….I know you can do it!
But I have a question; after all the
excuses good reasons….. what really matters? The way we treat someone is on us, not on them. In the end it is not about what someone did to deserve the crap we handed them…..it is more about how we treat people in the good and the bad times! How we treat others even when we feel they do not deserve good treatment….this is who we are! This is what matters! Do you have a habit of turning away from people when they need you, ending relationships with no reason or without talking to the other person (abandoning people), flying off the handle when there is conflict, or being very blunt for a persons own good? I can go on and on with all the ways we can make others feel worthless, treating people with the disrespect we would never want to be treated with! But I imagine you get my point.
When we make excuses for our behavior we are not helping anyone, especially not ourselves. Until we can be honest with ourselves ( as honest as we love to be with others) about how we treat people and how we would not like this same treatment…until we can honestly stop blaming others and start treating people the way we want to be treated…in good times and bad times…. there is a good possibility we will not be living our authentic best life!
We can all say…..“well it was for her own good!” or ” I needed to be away from the drama!” or any of the many other things we say that we seem to believe erases our bad behavior! But it is all an illusion! Our behavior is who we are. And remember we have a choice on how we handle things! I am in no way saying we need to put up with things that are not in our best interest…. I’m simply saying the way we handle the situation and our possible departure from a relationship is what matters! And it is on YOU! In the end…that is what matters, you have to live with you and one day, if not today, this will come up. These things have a way of rearing their ugly little heads.
Good, bad, and ugly! It is all YOU! Stop making excuses and just be someone you can be proud of! No more excuses. If you hurt someone don’t tell them it was not meant the way they took it…..say you’re sorry! And when you say you’re sorry for heaven’s sake don’t follow it up with some lame comment that starts with “but”………