When it Rains it Pours……

wind chimes

It is said when it rains it pours! I guess it is true that sometimes into our life can come challenge after challenge!

Saturday night my daughter went to the ER and had to have surgery yesterday.  She will be fine, but for all of us this is ….enough already!

I am grateful that she is already out of the hospital after having her procedure and am confident that she will be good as new soon. I am grateful to the Dr at Hendricks Regional who took such great care of her and is following up with the necessary testing to try to end these problems once and for all!  I am grateful to all the people who work at this facility, for they are the ones who go above and beyond to take care of others and not just the patients, but the families too, making sure we are informed and up to date on all things happening. I appreciate that!

With my brother passing 10 days ago and this, we are all exhausted! And my daughter feels guilty because she didn’t think of her Uncle while she was in hospital! Poor girl! Of course she shouldn’t; but I understand.

It is fantastic to know she is home and resting.

When I got home from the hospital today I found the wind chimes in the above picture hanging on my porch! Wow, I was so amazed by them! I volunteer for the Human Resource Department at the same hospital where my daughter was an patient, a sympathy card said the chimes were from them. These have got to be some of the sweetest women I have ever had the privilege to worked with! It was above and beyond for them to think of me and send these wind chimes! I am grateful to know such outstanding people!

And this simple fact was not lost on me- the chimes have scripture etched in them! I am grateful to volunteer somewhere that has no problem sending me scripture to help ease grief! That is perfect!

So to surmise…I am grateful!  What a beautiful day! ❤

Grief Has No Rules

grief has no rules

 

I can remember when I was going through a difficult time, it was definitely a period of grief, one day I received a message from a well-meaning friend. She explained to me that what I was doing was not good and that I should really consider stopping. She was referring to the fact that I was publicly posting (albeit without naming names or specifics) on this, my blog, about my pain.  In the first post I made during this period I acknowledged that my family would probably hate at that moment that I am a writer. I use writing as a way to get my emotions out, it is a vehicle for me to get to a better place. I know I am not the only writer that does this, it is a very therapeutic process.  And I was not going to stop. I told her so and we had a back and forth on the subject and then we didn’t. I tried my best to be accepting of her advice, and I loved her for loving me enough to reach out.

I want to say here, before I get started on my thoughts, this in no way is a reflection on the person who reached out to me. I use that story as an example of my experience. And that is all. She is a beautiful person and very caring. Just because we do not agree with how to approach this topic, that does not mean it is a reflection on her. It is a reflection of my opinions on the subject. That is all. I love that we all have differing opinions; it gives me something to talk about!

Having said that I want to say that grief has no rules, and grief comes for many reasons. When we lose a person through a loss of trust through the loss of a relationship, this too is a loss that we will grieve for. While it is not the same as a death, it is a loss none the less, that will be grieved.

Now if we acknowledge that this is a grief that needs to be moved through I do not think it is right for anyone to tell another how to grieve or for how long. Now there is a caveat to that in so much as if a loved one is staying in grief for such a long period that it is destroying the quality of their life or the life of others, it is probably proper to give a nudge. But when we nudge we certainly should not approach the person by telling them what they are doing is wrong. We need to empathize with them as best we can. Put ourselves in their shoes and treat them as we would want to be treated in the same situation. And be patient. In my opinion we need to approach the subject in a careful way.

The grieving process for a loss of a relationship versus a death will be very different. We are all smart enough to recognize this difference so I need not go into detail. But we do need to respect that the person going through the loss of the relationship is grieving and we need to give them time and if we feel they are doing things that may hurt them in the long run we need to realize that they are not us.  We are all responsible for our own actions.  Maybe offer the suggestion that they may regret their actions but then let it go. Do not use too many words, let the truth sink in on its own accord. In my opinion that will work far better than trying to persuade someone in grief that what they are doing is hurtful.

And that is my thought for the day! ❤  <———- my thought…my opinion….   ❤

griefhosnorules1

 

Sending Love……….

911Today I am sending love to all those who were, are, affected by the events that took place 14 years ago today. I can only imagine the pain, then and now, and I pray for you all.  I also pray for all the courageous men and women who were first responders or second, or third….. and I pray for the rest of us. I pray for America and the world.

Today, as I do everyday, I pulled a Angel Card (Doreen Virtue) to see what wisdom I may gain and was touched by the accuracy of it. The card was the Heart Chakra, how appropriate that on this day so filled with pain I should pull a card about healing the heart.  There are a lot of hearts to be healed out there and I want you to know I am praying for you.  I am sending good thoughts and energy, to help heal and learn to live again.  I know some of us learn how to move on after a proper amount of time, but then there are those who get stuck and I pray for you today, Earnestly, passionately, I pray for you.  You may ask what is a proper amount of time anyway? And who says what that amount is? All I can say is there comes a time when our pain does not serve us anymore, in fact it begins to destroy us, it is at that point that we need to learn to move on.  Our loved ones would not want that for us. How do I know? If you were the one who was gone; would you want that for your loved one? Of course not. We do not want for our loved ones to suffer, we want them to learn to live a full life until the day we meet again.

To honor all those who have passed I pray that their loved ones will know some peace and learn to love again! ❤