This morning as I put my feet on the floor my head was pounding; I had a terrible headache! But I was/am as grateful today as I have been any other morning. Why should today be any different from any other day? Why should today be any easier, any harder, filled with any more miracles, than any other day?
I ask myself this question; because it feels different.
In the months leading up to this moment, this day, I have awoken each morning and said my ” I love you” and my “thank you” and went on with my day…..but in the back of my mind, and sometimes in the forefront, there has been a voice saying to me “something BIG is happening”. “What?” I would ask and I would wonder….What?! What is this BIG thing that is happening? It was like I was always on the verge of something big!
So today I wake with my terrible headache and the rain was pouring outside; I know you expect me to tell you I had a great epiphany and I know what the BIG thing is! Sorry…… I still do not know, but I did have an epiphany this morning and here it is……
I have not really asked the question “what is happening?”. I have walked around for months with this voice telling me “something big is happening” and I not once sat down and got real still with God and just asked “what?” I have asked “what” in a non inquiring way…..but I have not got still (quieted my mind) and pondered or meditated with Him to learn the answer.
What have I done? I have done all the busy work that we as humans do when we think we are progressing towards something that is God intended (inspired). We take action….but maybe not inspired action….. maybe not God led action? Sometimes we have to get out of our own way, to even see, that we have taken things out of His hands and are running the show ourselves. And there He is watching and wondering…..”when are you going to let ME handle things and show you the way?”
So what is different today? Well, as I sit here, I am hopeful that today is the day I get out of my own way!