I see so many people handing out advice about communication. It is the most important thing in relationships. I agree! It is vital in relationships of all types. The problem is, as many people as I see handing out the advice, I do not see that many people who are truly willing to put in the work.
Communication has been a thing for me most my life. It was such a big thing for me that I taught my children at a young age how to be considerate of others and how to listen.I think that is one of the reasons people fail at communication. Communication is not only about talking to each other. Your communication style is of vital importance as is your commitment, passion, and sincerity! Consideration towards others, when it is real, makes a world of difference in your communication style.
If you, in the beginning of a relationship, return calls/texts promptly, you call occasionally, you listen intently, you share of yourself, and then one day, you don’t, you can expect some problems will be headed your way. Period. You need to get real, from the very start, about who you are and what style of communication you are comfortable with for the long haul. Because it matters! People, friends, family, spouses, boyfriends, they will notice. This is not to say that if you have a moment where you fall off the radar the relationship will not survive. No! I am sure it will and even if it doesn’t, it should have. So take heart that you found out early there were bigger issues than communication. There is nothing wrong with having a moment, we all do! But repeatedly failing to be who you represented yourself as in the beginning of a relationship, whether it is in your communication or your fidelity, loyalty, whatever! Is no good!
And being clueless to the fact that you are that way is no excuse! I will bet that you’ve been told, nicely, ( at least at first) that this was happening, and I’d be willing to bet you chose to decide the person was being sensitive or nagging! OR they were changing. Well folks we all need to look in the mirror when there is a breakdown in communication, a breakdown in a relationship, and make sure we are really being honest about what is happening. And be willing to either address our issues or accept that the other party does not agree and be willing to let it go and move on. I mean if you search your heart and you come up with….it is not about you but about them…..well accept it and move on! **And your other relationships are a good indicator too! If you have issues with others then maybe it is you……….?
I think what people forget is that good communication is not just about words. It is also about the way you deliver your words! And in my opinion communication is not really that good if it is lacking consideration,sincerity and integrity. Without those components then all we have are shallow, meaningless, words.
And your true intent may get lost in translation!
Peace and Love~ Christine