New Article at Ezine

Here is my most recent article over at EzineArticles.com

Sometimes we help others when they could and should help themselves. That is co-dependent behavior. Of course there are varying circumstances, different situations, I am really not referring to something like helping someone with a flat tire or babysitting or something of that nature, I am referring to situations of an emotional level.

We can’t be responsible for another person’s happiness, a person’s happiness is up to them. Just as you can’t be held responsible for my happiness; I can’t be held responsible for yours.
And truth be told even if we try to be responsible for their happiness, even if we try to help them with their situations, if they will not listen (even if they seem to listen) then it doesn’t matter anyway; if they do not hear the words they can’t help themselves.

True Happiness Comes From Within
I think a good reason we can’t be “happiness” for another is because true happiness comes from within and that is not something that we can put there; it is not something I can give to you!. Although we certainly can help, by offering examples, encouragement, love, etc. or we may hinder by having a lack of patience, mean-spirited actions and words, etc.

Help Other By Letting Them Help Themselves
It is more important to support someone, and encourage them to learn how to help themselves, than to try to be happiness for them. If we try to be someones happiness we will continuously fail and feel less than good about ourselves. We need to concentrate on making sure we are happy with our own life, so in turn others will be happy when they are around us. It is a residual thing! When you walk into a room filled with your own happiness and self-worth you are like a light, like a beacon in the night! And that is better than attempting to save someone from themselves! You can show them by example how you make yourself happy,how your happiness can enhance the lives of others. Your happiness is not dependent upon anyone but you.

Choice
It is our personal choice whether we are going to enable others or allow them to help themselves. And when we make this choice we have to be ready for some people to feel as if we are abandoning them. We must make our choices from a place of love not fear. We can’t make the choice to continue enabling because we fear the loss of friendship or love. Be strong and make the right choice for everyone involved. Choose love, always love, and in doing so you will always make the right choice. In the end, if you follow this advice, you will feel in your gut when you are enabling or hindering another.

To read more of my articles please visit –  My recent article here and you can browse my past articles.

New Article Coming Soon……

Here is the beginning of the article that will be published in a few days on eZines.

We Can’t Help Everyone, And Maybe We Shouldn’t
By Christine Frame Martin

 

Sometimes we help others when they could and should help themselves. That is co-dependent behavior. Of course there are varying circumstances, different situations, I am really not referring to something like helping someone with a flat tire or babysitting or something of that nature, I am referring to situations of an emotional level.
We can’t be responsible for another persons happiness, a persons happiness is up to them. Just as you can’t be held responsible for my happiness; I can’t be held responsible for yours.

New Article on EzineArticles – Age With Grace!

 

agewithgrace

As we age we notice we’re not able to do all we could when we were younger! I hear people complain about this subject; a lot! I hear people become fearful and anxious over it too. It seems to me that I do not worry much about age, I wasn’t sure when I was younger if aging would bother me or not. I had heard about “over the hill” parties and wondered what the big deal was! But as I got older there was something about the aging process that did get to me; ability. My ability, or lack there of, to do certain things. Things such as jumping from high places without worrying about balance or hurting limbs! Or my ability to eat anything I wanted to and not have it affect my waist or my digestion. Yes, there are definitely certain things that bother me about getting older. Certain abilities do fade as we get older; so in the end even those of us who claim “age doesn’t bother me” can still be bothered about something to do with aging. I am living proof of that fact.

This morning I was reading my devotional (Jesus is Calling ~Sarah Young) it talked of the aging process and how even though we may be getting weaker with age- the more we draw to God the stronger we become on the inside. I believe it is true that even as our body grows weak and tired, our spirit will grow stronger, as long as we continue to seek Him. And further I believe as long as we continue to fill our soul with thoughts of helping others and living an inspired life; we will continue to grow strong in spirit.

We should age with grace, the grace of God. With God’s grace we will move towards a closer knowing of Him and a relationship that can only come from living many years and gathering much knowledge. IF God graces me with old age I hope my soul will be full and ready for what is to come. I imagine a life in my later years being full (soul/spirit speaking) and knowing that I could not have gotten to where I am without doing my time; living my years. So when I think of aging I welcome it. I welcome it with the knowledge that as long as I continue to move forward in my walk, and strive to live an inspired life, that I will become stronger in spirit even as my body begins to wear down. We must keep our mind/soul sharp! We need to continue to seek knowledge and inspiration so that we may become wise and share that wisdom with others.

And I had another thought; what if by aging, and becoming stronger of soul/spirit, we are heralding in the next chapter of our life? The enlightened chapter. The part of our life where we will pass over, we will go to a place where all the knowledge we have gathered will be set before us so that we can see our accomplishments; even if those accomplishments were only to become wise within ourselves? To draw closer to Him and live a good life filled with love and light?

It is just a thought. They say the second half of your life can be even more exciting than the first! So why not shoot for the stars and see just how full your spirit can be! Maybe miracles will abound? Ya never know!