To Detach with Love

detachwithloveI used to have a problem with the term “to detach” because I felt like it was saying I had to lose something or give up on someone. When I first heard the expression “to detach” I was in a coaching session, my coach suggested that I should learn to detach from my feelings about my family. I could not grasp the thought of that because I associated the word detach with meaning to stop loving. Maybe if she had said “to detach with love” I would have had an easier time understanding and learning to embrace this thought.

Now maybe nobody else in the world would have this problem, maybe it was just me, but on the off-chance that someone else hears the word detach and thinks it is a rather heartless term, I wanted to share this.  Share my thoughts today on the term “to detach”.

So in the past I felt the term “to detach” was heartless and cold, I felt like the only people who could do this were people who are able to turn off their love for others.  That is because I didn’t get “it.”  What is “it?”  To know the truth- to detach is to love someone so much you can detach from the outcome, detach from the need to be loved back, and to detach from the worry and expectation that comes with love.   I learned, after much growth, that to detach with love simply means to love so unconditionally that you are not bothered by outcomes or expectations.

I hope that makes sense. I do want to keep this short enough that you will read it; yet get all the info in there!  Any questions or opinions please feel free to chime in below! I do not care if you disagree with my view!! It is all good! We can share what we think with each other. I love to hear other people’s thoughts! And am open-minded enough that I grow from hearing what others think; even if I still disagree!

I will leave you with this, my favorite scripture, which helped me get to a place of letting go of expectation and worry.

Phil 4:6 ” Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

It’s got it all! No worries, and gratitude! I love this verse!

 

 

 

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Love Without Limits!

The Good, the bad, and the ugly! This is a fitting term to use in reference to relationships. Don’t you think? There are those relationships that are good, the ones that are not so good (bad) and the ones that are down right ugly!  So what of them? We all have them. I am no more unique than you….I’ve had good and bad relationships. I’ve had some friends for life and some friends for short periods of time. I have had family come and go (the BY LAW kind) and I have family that I will never know or maybe never get along with.  Sound familiar? Of course it does! At the base we are all the same. The way we deal with things may be different but we can sit around and talk about these things and resonate with each other till the cows come home!  Why is that?

I believe the reason we are all the same, in this respect, is because we are spiritual beings living a human life. All of us. How we choose to embrace that fact is where the differences lie. Some of us embrace it whole-hearted and continue to grow, and learn, our whole lives! Some of us come half way, living a spiritual life but always riding the fence as to what we really understand! And then some of us choose the path which leads us away from any kind of spiritual knowledge; we choose to denounce the divine and believe it is all a fairytale created by man to help us feel better.

For those of us who ride the fence or embrace it with our whole heart; we know, or at least are open for the lesson, that there is a reason for everything that happens in this life. Including the people in our life!

When we are in a relationship with someone who rubs us wrong, who always knows how to push those buttons, or who even is just downright nasty….there are lessons to be learned; even if only to never be the way that person is. We don’t know what  the future brings….maybe a situation is going to arise where we could want to behave in a certain way, but now we will not!! Why? Because we have had the first hand experience of being on the receiving end of someone acting in the way with which we are now wanting to act ourselves.  Does that make sense?  Relationships are usually about looking in the mirror.   When things are going well they are wonderful and we find it so easy to love that person; but when things get dicey and our expectations are dashed….it gets hard to love them, it gets hard to even talk to them. Seeing others behave in ways that we behave (but deny) is very uncomfortable!  But those are the times we need to pay attention. What are they doing? Does it in any way shed a light on areas of our life that we do not like? Areas we ignore but know we should change? A lot of the time the answer is yes to that question….but not always. Sometimes it is just that this person is being mean (in a way you would never act) but there is still a lesson….it is either reinforcing our thought that we do not want to act this way…ever, or it could be a lesson in unconditional love. Or love in general. Sometimes we just need to be reminded to love someone through the bad times. Lose all expectations and let them move forward. And don’t try to manipulate the outcome.

I could go on and on…but I wont. Because the bottom line is simply…love without limits and be willing to learn from our relationships.  There are good relationships, bad relationships, and ugly relationships….be grateful for all and love all. Embrace the lessons to be learned from each;even if that lesson is teaching us to change something in our own life. And accept that sometimes a relationship is not intended to last for long…but it is always intended for a purpose.  And we should always be grateful for them ALL.

What DID you expect from ME?!

expectations

Sometimes it’s hard for us to let go of our expectations of others. But expectations usually get us nothing more than disappointment. I know when we are willing to do so much for others we can be hurt and may not understand when they are not willing to give the same to us in return.

But we need to let go of that reasoning. It begets resentment,anger,sadness, not the love we want to have in our lives.                                                                                           Get rid of that which does not please, starting with our own thoughts is an easy first step! (WELL……easy compared to changing someone else….that’s not gonna happen!)