I am Learning To Be Brave…….


Yes, I am a Christian!  I know if you are a follower of my blog; you already know this.  But I feel it necessary to say it…out loud…today!

I accept that I am not your run of the mill Christian person. But that does not make me any less a Christian; although there are some who would disagree with me. So for that, yes that, that is the reason for my title. I am learning to be Brave!

Over the last 8 years as I have been on this journey from there to here….I have spent a lot of time in hiding! Yes, in hiding. I know….shocking! Or shameful. Whatever. We all have to get there in our own time and way. The point is I have arrived!

I am ready to say out loud that I am an eclectic mix of many thoughts and beliefs! I am not your average Christian. But a Christian I am! And no matter what anyone says…you can’t change my belief!  It has taken me some time to get to a point where I can embrace myself! But I am embracing myself now. I LOVE my beliefs! I love that I am a tolerant person who loves more than she….. doesn’t…..

I LOVE that I have learned from my journey how to let go. I have learned how to be tolerant. I have learned how to be tolerant without losing my beliefs. I have come to the realization, through all of my eclectic teachings, that I can disconnect without losing faith or love for and in others.

I have learned that forgiveness is a need that is universal; regardless of your faith. I have learned that love prevails…love teaches…..love opens you up to hear what others are saying….and when they are hurting.

Like taking the thorn from the lions paw and gaining love forever;  I have removed my thorn; and now know…Love is mine forever; if I want it. And what is to follow is a world filled with opportunities! Opportunities to grow, to help others, to heal, to witness change and growth!

What could be better? I am learning, no, I have learned to be brave! And the world is now opened up to me.

A Message Delivered By a Friend….. God Always Has a Plan!


I received this message last Friday as I sat having a very nice lunch with an old friend.  She and I were talking about “things” just random stuff; mostly to do with our spirituality and where we are today.  This is important only as to set the backdrop of the conversation!

The message came by way of my friends lips….. she said to me ” I think you should be helping people, who have been hurt by organized religion, to heal”  That message, paraphrased here by me, floored me!  You may ask “why is that?”  Well I will tell you, in as short a post as possible.

( you do know me, right? )

A few years ago I had a book inside me, this book was very much a soul project for me.  The subject felt very important to me. I abandoned that project due to outside influences ( mostly family) which I should not have let influence me.  And let me preface this by saying; they weren’t being overly harsh or anything….I was probably being way too sensitive! I obviously was not ready to take on this project. And today I can recognize, to complete this project, I needed to be much more spiritually grounded than I was at that time! Since letting go of that project I have grown spiritually…..so, so much! Probably much more than I even know! And even more interesting….I have attempted a very worthy replacement project ( which I will continue with because they really have everything to do with each other! ) and that worthy project seemed to have obstacle after obstacle blocking it from reaching completion!  I did not know what blocked me!

Then, there sat my friend, in all her innocence, saying to me what she said! The words that pretty much rocked my world right off its axis!  Ha!

That night I went home, head reeling with the fact that she didn’t know about my earlier project, yet out of the blue she said that!  OH….I guess I should tell you the project!  I had started a book, title to be left un named, but the book was all about people who have been damaged, alienated, traumatized, or in other ways turned off by organized religion; Christianity in particular.

When I began that project I was more interested in calling Christianity out for being filled with hypocrisy (yes, I know we all are hypocrites) as well as intolerant, judgmental people! As time has passed I have grown into a person who is now more interested in leading these hurt people back to a connection with God.  I realized the main focus of the book shouldn’t be so much why Christianity failed these people; as leading them back! Giving them reason for hope. I had not realized just how much I had changed; or quite frankly that I wasn’t that spiritual in the first place!!  But there sat my friend saying what she said….and all the pieces fell into place! It was really quite wild! And extremely random! I loved it!

I used to want to open a Spiritual Retreat Center. I can remember talking to a friend about that Retreat! As excited as I was for it; I could never quite grasp exactly how it would all play out. Or why people would want to come to our retreat center verses all the other wonderful centers all over the world! I just left it in God’s hands. But now…now that I know this will be a Healing Retreat Center; a place for injured souls to come back to God, Spirit, Source…..to find that connection once again! Now I can see it happening!

And I have started putting the book together again!  I have been all about forgiveness, unconditional love, and gratitude for the last 3 years or so. As worthy as I felt the subjects were; they just seemed to be falling flat. Now I see the connection that was lost. God always has a plan….. sometimes it just takes us a while to catch on- but now I get it.


Sometimes We Need to Grow Before We Can Hear/See Clearly!


A Healing and Recovery Center (Retreat Center) for ALL who are in need of a renewed spiritual connection to God.

A few years ago I started writing a book about Christianity and the effects it has on some people; positive and negative, but concentrating on the negative impact organized religion can have on some people and their recovery or the need for recovery.                                                                                        I abandoned that book after I received some negative, repeated, feedback from family members. I had already wrote a bit at that time but I caved to pressure. I was being told that I had to make sure I had the thick skin, as well as the courage, to actually publish the book I was writing. And take the backlash I would surely get from my church. I didn’t. I looked in the mirror and decided I didn’t have it in me to face the storm of disapproval that was sure to follow the publication of my book.

Now it is almost 3 years since I abandoned that project. Here is the thing…..since then I have attempted to start a few different writing projects, and I do manage to write a little here and there ( not including this blog that is)  but the BIG project has not yet  happened.  I love the subject that I write on; Gratitude, Forgiveness, and Unconditional love, and I have published an eBook, but as I said, the big project has not been completed.

Lately I have wondered about that original book, that idea, a lot!  Then today something happened……. I had lunch with a friend who I have not really seen or talked to much in the past couple of years. During our conversation…amazingly enough, she managed to bring me back to my book project.  No she didn’t know anything about it, she just made an observation and it brought it up for me (the memory).  Wow….I had not thought of it in so long!  I got that tingly knowing feeling.  I knew the reason for every unfinished project (since the original) was staring me in the face.

Interesting side note. I have made plans for a retreat center for the last few years too. Each time I talked about it or wrote about it….It just did not resonate within me! It seems to fall flat. And worse yet…I didn’t feel like it was meant to be.  But now all of a sudden, after my friend inadvertently got me back on track, when I think of the retreat center it seems not only completely possible it seems easy! The ideas flow…..

This goes to show when you get into your truth your energy will flow easily. You will know you have it right because of the energy you generate.

I am confident the reason I so easily abandoned the project a few years ago was because I did not have it in me to defend my book and my belief! I was afraid that if people were upset with me and confronted me I would back pedal and sell out on my thoughts! I did not want to do that. So I have spent the last 3 years getting strong! And now that I am strong I can face any storm that comes.

There is always a reason for everything that happens. I have that faith…I know that to be true. This just proves what I already knew!