Your Reaction Matters….

Defeats are part of our human experience

Whether we want to admit it or not. It is just a part of life. They may be small or big, but they are usually present at times. And they seem to pop up mostly when we are really on to something big. They can be looked at as of they are tests, how bad do we really want this? Whether test or just life; it is how we respond/react to these times in our lives that matters.

 

React or Respond?

Are you a reactor, or a responder? It matters. I can remember when I most definitely was a reactor! And it showed all over my face and in my body language. It was very difficult for me to hide my feelings in the midst of situations. And truth is, while I am mostly a responder these days, there are times I still have a hard time controlling my body language. I am working on that!
If we learn to be a responder our life is easier, even when we are showing, by our face, that we would love to react in a negative way to the situation, the fact that we don’t makes the situation better, for us and for the other people involved. Learning this self-control is huge! It is a great change in your life and will affect you for sure but it will affect those around you too! And it helps to get us through the defeats in our life if we learn this lesson now!

 

Start now, and know there will be slips!

Where to start to make t his change?

All you can do is start now. Dive in! If you want it you will have it! If you truly believe being a responder is the better way to live your life, then just jump in. I know if you want it bad enough you will make it happen. Yes there will be times, especially  in the beginning, when you will fail, that is okay! Remember defeats yes but not defeated!  All we can do is do our best. And knowing that we will always have another chance to get it right is motivation enough to keep trying!  So this is what you do…… starting now when you feel yourself reacting in a negative or judgmental way to a situation, and you don’t want to, then stop and take a breath, take a step away. Yes it really is that simple. Here is the thing- you will have a lot of times, more often than not, in the beginning, when you remember after the fact to be a responder and not a reactor. That is okay! It is growth!

You are going to have many times, even after you learn to take a breath and not react, when you will have to remind your face what the plan is!! But that is okay! Keep at it!

 

You are taking on a very noble cause!

Making this change in your life will indeed help your life to be easier. But the affect it will have on others is probably so profound that I think you are a hero for doing this! Taking on the challenge to make this change in your life, something that will have an impact on the lives of others……you are amazing! Considerate! I love that you care enough to want to do this.

 

Don’t give up!

Just keep moving forward and one day you will be on the other side, seeing the fruits of your labors! Good for you! And remember…..tomorrow is another day full of opportunities to do better! To become a responder not a reactor and to make sure your defeats

never defeat you!

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The Freedom to Live/Love Again!

life

Every morning when I wake up I make a choice (sometimes not an easy choice) to face the day with a smile on my face. Sometimes when my feet hit the floor I am in pain and it is hard to say “thank you” and “I love you” but I do it. Lately I have been in a bit more pain than usual, what I have found is as my feet hit the floor and the pain becomes intense the words fall right out of my mouth! They tumble out of me as fast as I wish the ibuprofen was going in at that very moment! haha   I stumble into the bathroom and brush my teeth, all the while thinking of all the things I am grateful for:

I am an encourager of people…..thank you

I am inspired and am inspiring to others….thank you

I am a lender not a borrower….thank you

I face my days with gratitude….thank you

Thank YOU for this beautiful day! I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I am grateful!

I love YOU!

 

I do not know if you will ever believe expressing gratitude (every day) will cause change in your life and the life of those around you……. but here is what I do know:

Pain, anger, fear, unforgiveness, grudges, revenge, these are things which stop us from living a full life.  Those things are from moments past…..not now. If we choose to live in the now then can’t we now (one moment at a time) look around and say ” it is good!” Can’t we look around and say ” I am grateful” “I am happy”  “I am blessed”  “I am loved” ??

Which is better, to sit in our anger, or to forgive and move on in the glory that is freedom! Freedom we give to ourselves because we deserve it! And that is freedom that can only be reached when we live for now and let go of the past.

Most people get hung up on the forgiveness part. Why? Because they feel like forgiving is giving in, or worse, saying to the one who hurt us ” it is OK that you hurt me”  this is simply not true!  Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, it is the permission you need to live the life you deserve not hindered by the anger from your past.  So, take the time you need and be mad! Then move on!   I love you. You are loved!