For the longest time I believe I was seeking God because I thought if I was consistent in my seeking then He would reward me. But today I was reading Matthew 6:33 and it hit me that I no longer do this. I feel as if I have returned to a child-like love for Him.
When I was a child and even well into my adult years, years when I definitely was not living a life worthy of being held as an example, I always kept God in a place deep within my heart, a place where I spoke to Him often throughout my days. He was my constant companion and the one with whom I spoke to about all of my problems and my day-to-day events. It is funny when I think back on this- when I was not even trying He was my best friend! When I made a concerted effort to live a better life, one that He leads me to live, I think my mind became set in a more “reward” mentality. I thought if I am good then He will notice and I will be rewarded with a good life. I became a devout person looking to be proper and do everything by the book, but I was trying too hard! And seeking for the wrong reasons (and no, as I said, I didn’t see it at the time), even though I definitely had a love for Him that was real.
But today as I read this chapter I realized things have swung back the other way. I have became that young person (if only in mind!! HA) again, the person who seeks Him as my best friend! The person who knows He is my best friend! I do not look to Him for what He can do for me, I look to Him just to spend time with Him. I crave those moments when I get to just be with Him. Again I am talking to Him all day every day about anything and everything and the best part is I do not have to text or pick up a phone!! This is a pleasing aha moment for me today. I am grateful for these times when scripture can uncover for me some pretty pleasant changes in my life.
Matthew 6:33 “But seek first of all His kingdom and His righteousness, and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.”