Here is my most recent article over at EzineArticles.com
Sometimes we help others when they could and should help themselves. That is co-dependent behavior. Of course there are varying circumstances, different situations, I am really not referring to something like helping someone with a flat tire or babysitting or something of that nature, I am referring to situations of an emotional level.
We can’t be responsible for another person’s happiness, a person’s happiness is up to them. Just as you can’t be held responsible for my happiness; I can’t be held responsible for yours.
And truth be told even if we try to be responsible for their happiness, even if we try to help them with their situations, if they will not listen (even if they seem to listen) then it doesn’t matter anyway; if they do not hear the words they can’t help themselves.
True Happiness Comes From Within
I think a good reason we can’t be “happiness” for another is because true happiness comes from within and that is not something that we can put there; it is not something I can give to you!. Although we certainly can help, by offering examples, encouragement, love, etc. or we may hinder by having a lack of patience, mean-spirited actions and words, etc.
Help Other By Letting Them Help Themselves
It is more important to support someone, and encourage them to learn how to help themselves, than to try to be happiness for them. If we try to be someones happiness we will continuously fail and feel less than good about ourselves. We need to concentrate on making sure we are happy with our own life, so in turn others will be happy when they are around us. It is a residual thing! When you walk into a room filled with your own happiness and self-worth you are like a light, like a beacon in the night! And that is better than attempting to save someone from themselves! You can show them by example how you make yourself happy,how your happiness can enhance the lives of others. Your happiness is not dependent upon anyone but you.
It is our personal choice whether we are going to enable others or allow them to help themselves. And when we make this choice we have to be ready for some people to feel as if we are abandoning them. We must make our choices from a place of love not fear. We can’t make the choice to continue enabling because we fear the loss of friendship or love. Be strong and make the right choice for everyone involved. Choose love, always love, and in doing so you will always make the right choice. In the end, if you follow this advice, you will feel in your gut when you are enabling or hindering another.