That Girl…..

thatgirlI don’t even want to be….but that is me.  Why can’t I just be loved and taken care of for once…..forever.  I guess I love grieving so much I wanted to do it back to back! I am a glutton for growth!

Last post found me, sharing with you, my journey through the grief of losing a sister ( pseudo and not really after all) but painful none the less! I wanted to share that journey with you as I hoped it might help someone out there going through the same thing. Or similar.  And now….I can’t share with you 100% what has happened but I can share with you that I woke up yesterday and the grief I felt for losing that other relationship compares naught to the one I have lost now. At 8:37 AM yesterday morning my world came to a crashing halt.

So now I get to journey through grief again and I want to take you with me. No worries! You are just an observer….I will handle the pain. I am thinking that my God is a good God so I know this is for a reason. I hate to think it is to make me stronger cause lord knows I am pretty strong! Maybe it is…maybe it is to make me more vulnerable….or to enable me to ask for help and to lean on others? I don’t know! And quite frankly at this moment I do not care.

Right now my head hurts and I have not eaten since Thursday…I don’t think I am worth much as far as writing goes right now….but there is something in me that thinks tortured soul creates great literature!  Or something like that!  We will see.  I don’t exactly write literature….I wander around on paper….thoughts floating here and there….maybe the thoughts will get a bit more interesting? Maybe this is what I need to just keep going? Again…I don’t know!

For heavens sake…and yours, I am going to cut this off here. Rest assured there is bound to be more over the next few days…at least!

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6 thoughts on “That Girl…..

  1. Know that it’s normal to go on autopilot for a while and that feeling good again will come… It just takes time. Know you have a friend in me. I’d be glad to talk or whatever you might need.

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    • Thank you! I do know it is a process and I have to let happen whatever my body wants. In respect to the not eating and just laying there staring at the walls…….I will let it run its course. It will pass.
      I so appreciate your words of comfort and encouragement. And friendship! Thank you! You Angela are a Doll!

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  2. Time heals all wounds, and know that its okay to ask for help or someone to vent to. I’m also the type of person to not reach out for help because I wanna e strong on my own, but i’ve learned that asking for help doesn’t take away from your strength.

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  3. Losing a friend can be very painful as I well know. I’ve lost many friends over the years too and I didn’t always understand why. One things I have learned is that when one friendship ends, another one begins and my new friends seem to be much better than the ones I’ve lost. Good friends will stay. The ones we lose are not really worth keeping anyway.

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