Forgive and Forget. Is it necessary to forget so that we can forgive?

I write and speak about forgiveness….A LOT! I , along with my beautiful writing partner, are at this moment co-authoring a book about Forgiveness. I, on my own, have been writing a book on Forgiveness for 2 years now. So I guess it is really something that I think a lot about. Why?

I think because when I discovered the truth about forgiveness it changed my life so profoundly that I just can’t let it go. Haha..”let it go!”  Funny I should say that!

Yes, in my opinion “letting it go” is a very important part of forgiveness. I know people are fond of saying things like ” I will forgive but I will never forget!”

What I say is that if I hold on to that anger, that grudge, then I am not truly forgiving anyone. I do not think it is important for me to hang on to the story of the pain and betrayal. As a matter of fact I feel that holding onto that betrayal , that story, is just keeping the UN forgiveness in my heart and will create or continue to create blocks in my life. I must add that as humans totally forgetting something is probably near to impossible.  With that in mind I guess I am speaking metaphorically when I say we need to “forget”. I am meaning more that we cannot be held prisoner by our memories of injustices against us. The betrayal will always be there, but it does not need to define us. If we keep it in our heart and nurture it then it will have a stronghold on us. “Let it go” Let go of the power that the memory has over you!

And I know what it is like to want to hang on to your story! I understand what it feels like to need to hang on to it. There is something inside us that says if we let it go, well, then they may do it to us again! Or they may not remember how horrible they were and I need them to remember what they did to me or my loved one….. No, you don’t, I don’t…no body needs to remember all that stuff.  That stuff just hardens us….maybe you do not think it does! But it does. And guess what? The person who did you wrong, the person you are spending so much of your precious energy on, that person is most likely not thinking about you. They are probably getting on with their lives.  This need to hate, hold grudges, be angry, is a one person show and you are the only one in it!

I work on the “letting it go” part and knowing, trusting, that God will take care of the rest.

Forgiveness will set you FREE! Just Do it!  I hope you love yourself enough to consider it. <SMILE>

2 thoughts on “Forgive and Forget. Is it necessary to forget so that we can forgive?

  1. That is so true! Still working on it here, especially this weekend. I will not be able to attend my mother in laws funeral because my ex is bringing the woman he left his family for and I have not ever seen her or spoken to her. I am doing better than I was, mainly because I just dont have the energy or the drive to keep holding on to it. I think this funeral is God’s way of bringing me closer to complete forgiveness.


    • Well it is like the quote at the beginning of the post says, it is a simple word but hard to do when you are hurt and it does sound like you are hurt.
      Maybe it is the closure you need. I pray it is so! I know what it means, how freeing it is, to be able to let it all go. Sometimes the journey takes longer than we thought it might. It definitely is different for all of us.

      Nice hearing from you Patty!
      You will be in my prayers.


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