Do you receive your encouragement from the words of others? Can you imagine if you lived a life where you either had a good day or bad day based on the words of others? Don’t we need to draw our strength,encouragement…hope…well being…from our self and God? So it seems if our relationship is good with God, we should not need encouragement from others to validate who we are or what we can accomplish. Right? Wrong?
I look around at people and wonder…do they put much stock into what others think about them? Does it only matter what God thinks? I mean…YES…emphatically YES…that is all that matters! BUT is everyone able to pull that off? I know the rational answer is no, of course not! Not everyone can pull that off, there are many people who are not that well-adjusted and confident! So….it is no wonder some feel the need for therapy when they lose their confidence! And then of course the words of others do not help…no, quite the contrary, the words or lack of words from others is tearing you down, stealing your confidence, what then? Motivational tapes? Self-help books? THE BOOK? Does there come a time when you just need to “ASK” for help from an outsider and if so…when has that time arrived?
Living a life where you’re beaten down, with a lack of confidence, when the only hope in your life is the hope that the day you get to go “home” will arrive soon….how sad. And you cannot blame others because as I said…you cannot find your validation in life through the words or actions of others! This must be hard! It is hard!
As I think through this, I decide that this is the very reason it IS so important to validate and encourage others, not just friends,business associates, or family…but the stranger in line who feels she is being a pain in the butt with all of her coupons and screaming kids…..all she is doing is trying to stretch a buck to feed her family! Maybe she does not have a spouse to help keep the kids calm at the store or at home (and it is so easy for others to pass judgement and say things like..”well she had the kids and the bad marriage,not me”…really? YOU have no idea what her situation is).
Maybe you could SMILE at her, make her feel like it is OK that she is taking the time to save money. Don’t sit there and bitch about how long this is taking or how you should not have gotten into that particular line! OR how about the family driving in the clunker and there you are driving along in your nice car, yelling that she should get that thing off the road, that she is a hazard! Really? So what are you going to do about it? Buy the family a new car? Like it or not it might be the only way she has to get around, to the Dr’s, or to the store. How sad to think that some people find it such an inconvenience for the poor and struggling to share their space.
Please do not misunderstand here…..I am speaking as that single mom and as the irritated person in line. I have worn both shoes. I am trying to be honest and let you know that I am not by any means standing on a pedestal acting like I do no wrong! I am not trying to point fingers, I understand for a lot of people they just do not know what they do! I too was so clueless at times!! But we all grow and change. And it is time for all of us to take a long look in the mirror!
I say *SMILE* at others!
So maybe we shouldn’t find validation in the words or actions of other! BUT…since we know not everyone is that well-adjusted, maybe it is really important for us to try and make an effort, try to help others feel worthy of taking up space in our precious world! huh? Oh…you cannot be bothered to worry about other people’s emotional well being…ok….then don’t smile. Your choice.
The intolerance that I see in this world everyday is very disheartening! You can call me a person who is trying to live a Utopian life…..a dream chaser…..unrealistic! Hey I’ve been called all of that before! You will not be the first nor the last person to call me a dreamer! Whatever! I would rather be me, believing that I can make a difference, than you, yelling at the poor and underprivileged, believing you are better than they are.
Sometimes I want to step out of the light and tell people to go to H***. But then again…my words may matter to you, so I will not! Rather I will just say “God bless!” Isn’t it amazing that people take your silence., my silence and my taking the higher road, as a sign of weakness!!?? AMAZING!