There are things we never forget in life. Some good. Some bad. I work on forgetting the bad. Thing is, I’ve forgiven anyone that may be responsible for the bad , yes even me. But there are some things I can’t seem to forget. Forgive yes, forget….. not yet.
Abuse is something that is hard to forget. I feel like I have accomplished a lot by forgiving. And I do forgive. 100%. Why can’t I forget? It may be the trauma of it. I still, at the oddest moments, can remember being hit over and over and over again. In my face. Over and over. So many things go through your mind… I don’t remember pain, but I remember the fear. And the bewilderment. I think, to this day, the bewilderment is still there.
Oh and I remember the person who saved me that day too. The person who stepped in and stopped the madness.
The story didn’t end there. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is what I have done with my life.
You know we all make mistakes. We all deal with our crap in different ways. We all can either learn from it or not. We can also learn to forgive or not.
There are so many choices in this life. Well, actually that is all this life is, one choice after another.
Man I’m rambling. I do that sometimes.
I wish you all well. I love you. And I am here to listen to anyone that may need to talk.
Sometimes people think I’m way too dramatic. And that I seek attention. Trust me, I don’t. As a matter of fact… attention is something I hide from mostly.
I’ve had a pretty dramatic life. I “feel” very deeply. I don’t hide that well. And truth is I don’t care to! Love me or hate me….. I have deep scars and I choose to fill those scars with love. And that love is for others. I want to be here for you.
It’s what I want. It’s how I choose to “recover” from life. ❤️
**if you actually read to the end of this long ramble….. thank you. I’ve just shared with you something that I’ve never shared with anyone….. for no other reason than to say- I know some stuff cause I’ve been through some stuff and I’m here if you want to talk.